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Post by starling78 on Oct 24, 2007 7:33:57 GMT -5
Do you think not having kids will make it easier for me to retire early? It seems like it would make sense that it could, because there wouldnt be hundreds of thousands of dollars in college expenses not to mention whatever is spend between birth and 18 years old. The more I think about what I want out of life, the more I realize that my REAL dream has always been to not have to work and spend time traveling and relaxing. I'm 29 now, and I'm hoping to at least be able to scale down to part time work by the time I am 50 and out by 60. I'd love to be completely done at that age, but I'm trying to be realistic. My husband and I don't have very good paying jobs so it might be a little rough, especially because we also like spending money now : ) Anyone here able to stop working early as a result of being childfree? Any advice on how to make it work?
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Post by preraph on Oct 24, 2007 10:07:37 GMT -5
It hasn't helped me any. Of course, I am alone and always had to support myself, no one to split expenses with or lean on between jobs. It makes a difference. The older you get, if you're a woman, the less money you make, as a rule. I don't know whether that's going to change in my lifetime or not. Even for guys, it's hard to find a good job after you reach a certain age. The insurance companies frown on it and jack the company's rates up, so they try to avoid it.
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Post by princesspedicure on Oct 24, 2007 10:47:43 GMT -5
I work for a college so it's a little different. I've been here 18 years, and I can retire when I'm 50 (11 more years) since we have a policy of "30 years and out regardless of age" with full benefits. This is assuming they keep me around that long--you never know, and current benefits may change, too. I plan on going to a financial planner so I have income additional to my pension when I retire. However, if I had a child there is no way I could retire at 50. I'm very careful with my money. I enjoy my life, but I make sure I have no debt except my mortgage. My goal is to hit the road when I'm 50!!
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Post by eoraptor on Oct 24, 2007 11:40:10 GMT -5
Having kids didn't stop my dad from retiring 10 years early. Not because he made a lot of money, but because he had accumulated enough points to retire through extra work, like fighting wildfires, doing disaster recovery, etc. I'm a terrible long-term saver myself. Most of it is I just never had the extra money. After the bills, there was nothing left. I've seen too many condescending finance articles that tell me things I already know, like "set a little aside each month" and "trim down on luxuries." Right, because I hadn't thought of that already and if I don't even have a phone, it's pretty obvious I've already trimmed the luxuries out. But I'm terrible when it comes to long-term saving because for so long I've had to live paycheck to paycheck and being able to pay for a roof over my head was more important than starting a savings account for some nebulous future that might not happen. My husband takes care of the long-term plans by working with his retirement plan. I take care of the short term savings. For example, we have three computers needing repair, a lot of dental work, and a visit to the in-laws, all by this spring. Grocery stores: Now, I don't always buy things on sale and I don't tend to go for the bargain brands without a compelling reason. I spent many years eating Always Save brand canned tuna and macaroni & cheese and feel that I've done my time. Sure, we'd save faster if I was more frugal on groceries, but I can't guarantee I'll live long enough to see it and there's no point in making ourselves miserable to save a few bucks. Every time I go to the grocery store, my receipt tells me how much I've saved. I put that amount into a jar (two actually, one for paper and one for coin) and leave it until the month end. It's amazing how fast it adds up and I can either put it into savings, put it towards something that needs repair, use it for a night out, or (in lean months) have the cash when I need it. I also put in any leftover change (rules state nothing bigger than a five because if there's a ten in there, I'll remember it's there a little too much). Only works if you use cash and I tend to just use a debit card for everything, so I'm trying to get back in the game. Last year I was saving $100 a month that way. Some additions to 56's suggestions: Furniture: IKEA may be a racket, but there are some things you shouldn't get from garage sales. Couches, beds, and clothes. There's nothing like having a mattress that you're not quite sure what's been done to it to make sleeping on the floor attractive. And IKEA makes simple, affordable couches that can stand up to (seven years and counting) of use and abuse. Not all of IKEA's furniture is ugly and they have quite a lot of contemporary, yet classic styles that endure. While the majority of the furniture is particleboard, IKEA also has quite a lot of solid wood furniture that is very nice. We could save for a "real" bookshelf. We could even spend more and build our own (and have). But when you have no bookshelf and there aren't any at the garage sales (I've seen one unsold bookshelf all summer), there's nothing wrong with a flat-pack bookshelf from Target, especially if you don't want to wait several months tripping over books until you can get one. Yes, those are a bit rickety, but I'll let you in on a secret: all it takes is a few pieces of well-placed masonite nailed to the back and that thing will have to be dropped off the roof before it fails. Point is, you can "only buy once" if you're fortunate enough to have the money, but if you need a couch or dresser or bookshelf now, cheap flat-pack furniture will be a great option, especially if it's winter or you're not quite sure what those stains on the garage sale bed is. And if you move a lot, are a student, etc., disposable furniture is loads better than discovering the nice coffee table has to go in storage, was damaged in the move, or that it took so long to get the matching entertainment center that they no longer match. And if you ever find yourself in a house where the bad plumbing wasn't disclosed or recognized and it bursts through the ceiling while you're away at a funeral, you don't feel so bad having to throw out the IKEA couch, Wal-mart bookshelf, and Target entertainment center instead of seeing that your heirloom coffee table now needs a load of restoration. Same goes for house fires. Clothes: If you're a man in a job that requires more than jeans and a tshirt in dress code, cut down on your wardrobe. I know, I know, a new polo shirt is nice and that blue Ralph Lauren button down shirt looks really smart, but you already have five blue button down shirts of varying shades and patterns, not to mention the greens, reds, oxfords, browns, and ochres. And while a nice pair of black and brown shoes is recommended, you don't need five pairs. Three or four smart ties is a good idea (if you wear them), but make sure you don't overflow the tie rack. And yes, enough black socks to last a little over a week is a good idea, I really want my filing cabinet back so you're going to have to cut down on buying socks and stop using it for a sock drawer. I would like to have been able to take the bigger closet so I could have somewhere to put my craft supplies, but I recognize that, despite having a professional job, my clothes only fill three shallow dresser drawers and 1/3 of the closet and yours overflows the nine-drawer dresser and larger closet. I mean, men, what the hell? Stop being such slaves to fashion. You'd think that's all they talk about. Shiny objects: Within reason. There's no reason to deny yourself a small, fun item in the interest of saving a few bucks. I'm bad at being distracted by shiny objects and right now I can easily drop a few thousand on some power tools we've been wanting, not to mention minerals I've been wanting for my collection, a few knives I've had my eye on, some atomic age memorabilia, a large pile of comic books, some programming books, and a saltwater fish tank. So I limit myself. Once a month while I do the budgeting (we both get paid at the end of the month instead of bi-monthly), I see what can reasonably be spent on shiny objects and then subtract a third to a half of that and set that as the budget. That way, we have an impetus to stay within the budget, but if we go over, we won't have to worry about running out of money at the end of the month. Surprisingly, it works. And instead of buying everything I want that month, we both discuss what we'd like to have in the way of shiny luxuries and work out a bit of a compromise. Last month, he got several knives and tools and I got one knife and a drafting set. This month, there's a mineral I've been trying to find for years and I'm taking up most of the budget this time. Not that we alternate or plan it down to the last detail or anything. Budgeting helps a lot. Breaking down take-home pay for the entire month into bills, food, household necessities, and luxuries is a good way to get a solid visual on where the money is going. And if you (like me so many times in my life) wonder how you could have spent so much so fast, it certainly helps to track everything. I adopted this only because we both ended up being paid monthly and I had to change the way I paid the bills and budgeted. I'm finding that I really like doing it this way, even though I have to be a little strict and remember that nothing else is coming until the end of the month. Also, stashing money around the house helps me for some weird reason. Every year I go to the Denver mineral show. I usually get to save some money all year for it, but this year all that money had to go to emergencies. Since it's pushing the end of September, I was worried we'd spend too much money before it arrived, so I put a set amount of money we could reasonably spend on non-travel essentials into an envelope and stashed it. I then put 2/3 of that amount into another envelope to use either in the event of an emergency while on the trip, or for something special we saw if we had to dip into it. We came back having only touched 1/6 of that second envelope, even though I ended up throwing caution to the wind. While none of this seems like it's really putting money aside for savings (and it's not really), it's just tricks to "reshuffle" things, set things aside in a different way, and the end result is suddenly you have money where you didn't think you did. Thanks to massive bills in moving, replacing our water damaged furniture (I miss the couch ), and having one thing after another pop up, this will be the first month that we will be able to put some money aside. Sorry for the long-winded post.
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Post by eoraptor on Oct 24, 2007 12:26:04 GMT -5
Okay, short version of my post: Be reasonable with spending and don't deny yourself everything for a future that might not happen.
If you can afford to do whatever you want, then you don't need to listen to financial advice. If you're an average person, then you don't always have a choice. Don't forego something you need now (or even something to make your life easier) because a cheaper version might not last. It might, it might not. You never know. Is the wait until you can afford something worth it? Is not having something you need (because you're saving up) going to be a hindrance? Sometimes it's better to go the cheap route.
That said, a word about women's clothes. If you just need something once or rarely wear it, then you might as well go ahead, but for every woman that needs certain clothes every day, here's a word of advice: Don't buy women's clothes.
It doesn't matter how expensive my business casual wear is, or where I bought it from. Women's clothes are cheap and made to fall apart. The clothing industry is sexist and they drive this idea that women buy more clothes than men. I'm convinced it's an artificial construct. Yes, there are women who want to keep up with the latest fashions, but most women are forced to buy simply because the clothing doesn't last. Two years ago, I bought a nice skirt and blouse from a high end clothing store only to have the shirt fall apart after one wash. It would still be okay if I had it dry cleaned, but see, I don't have the money for dry cleaning and it said machine washable. I followed the instructions exactly as it was (instantly) my favorite shirt. And this happens constantly to any women's clothing I buy, whether cheap or high end. My husband has clothing from his early days that still looks new. No more cheap or expensive than mine, but men's clothing is built to last.
And then fashion trends ruin everything so one year I can find proper classic styles of dress slacks only to have them fall apart and next year all the dress slacks are some skinny leg low-rise nonsense.
If you would like something to last a while, the best thing to do is find a suitable equivalent in the men's clothing section (obviously shirts and pants are where the limits are) and have it tailored to fit. Yes, the buttons might be on the wrong side (though that can be fixed) and it might not be the cutesy thing you wanted, but for basic dress or business casual that will last a while, that's the way to go.
I swear, if one more blouse falls apart on me, I'm going to rebel and wear tshirts to the theater.
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Post by happy2bchildfree on Oct 24, 2007 12:44:56 GMT -5
In theory one should be able to retire earlier if they don't have kids, but in reality this isn't always the case as I know from people I know IRL.
There are a lot of other variables besides kids/no kids. Speaking for myself, not having kids isn't going to make a difference in when I will retire. I never had high-paying jobs when I was single and the cost of living here is very high, so saving a lot of money just wasn't an option. Since I've been married, my husband and I have experienced a number of financial setbacks due to reasons out of our control and from which we have never been able to rebound.
Lastly, I've always lived a simple lifestyle as it is and I'm not willing to deprive myself of the few inexpensive things I do splurge on for the sake of saving a few more $$. Life is short as it is, and there are no guarantees I will even live to see retirement or be healthy enough to enjoy it. An early retirement isn't worth it to me if it means being deprived in order to have it.
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Post by preraph on Oct 24, 2007 12:51:26 GMT -5
I make no claims to looking good these days, as I just stay home most of the time in sloppy clothes, but most of my life I managed to pull off looking well-dressed in my own little music world, and I did it on a tight budget. When I was in my twenties, I did it by wearing mostly vintage clothes, before that got to be a racket and the vintage stores hogged them all. That was my favorite time, really. I'd pair fur-trimmed exquisitely tailored Christian Dior jackets from the thirties with platform shoes and miniskirts, things like that. I'd grab old velvets and satins whenever I could and wear those over jeans or skirts or whatever almost daily. I would buy old fluted satin slips from Goodwill and Salvation Army. I still have some of them because even though the day has long passed I can wear them, they are too beautiful to not keep. (P.S. Madonna was not the first person to wear underwear on the outside.)
In the eighties I had trouble finding clothes because even when I was bone thin, I was a size 12 and at that time, they didn't have all these plus stores. The only big clothes were like mumus and dowdy prints. So I had to have most things made. On a day to day basis, I mostly wore just rock t-shirts and skirts because of my work, I could do that unless it was meeting day or something. Then I'd wear a really nice suit, which is the only place I spent much money. I always make sure I have a nice suit or two for business.
My basic approach to clothes is I never follow trends. I have my own trends. I've always known what I like. I won't wear anything that has a designer name on it, because I think it's tacky and insecure to let designers define you.
My other thing I do is buy cheap casual clothes, never designer casual clothes. I mean, what is the point? I will buy everyday knit shirts and stuff wherever I can get them for under $20 each. And I buy capris and knit things from a catalog for cheap. But for dress-up, I will spend money if I have to, though my first choice is to find things at sales. If I see something (clothes or anything else) that I love unequivocally, that is just me, I will buy it no matter the price, within reason, because I know I will love it forever. And I try only to buy things like that for dressy night clothes. My last thing I bought like that, I got on sale for $15. It had been an expensive jacket, black with organza trim, kind of nehru or oriental type noncollar that could also be lapeled. The best sales are at the most expensive places because they want to clear out out-of-season merchandise. If I were filthy rich, I'd be tempted to only wear custom clothes that I could design myself. But then I'd have to be prepared to design the fabric and manufacture that as well, so I'd have to be REALLY rich.
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Post by eoraptor on Oct 24, 2007 14:19:03 GMT -5
Lastly, I've always lived a simple lifestyle as it is and I'm not willing to deprive myself of the few inexpensive things I do splurge on for the sake of saving a few more $$. Life is short as it is, and there are no guarantees I will even live to see retirement or be healthy enough to enjoy it. An early retirement isn't worth it to me if it means being deprived in order to have it. My curse is that someone can always say it more concisely than I ever could. This is what I get for growing up on Victorian literature... peraph: I know what you mean about the vintage market. When I was in college, there was this large vintage store in the Mall of America called Ragstock and they had tons and tons of surplus and "lightly worn" vintage clothing. I used to go there all the time. Suddenly, vintage became super popular and Ragstock went from neat affordable used clothing to overpriced vintage-style (as in new clothing made to look vintage). Even our local Salvation Army and Goodwills have started charging more for anything they recognize will be hip. Grrr. I never follow trends either. The few times I tried, I didn't get any wear out of my clothes before it was horribly dated. Now I stick with the classics. There are certain things that remain classy no matter what era it is (smart button up blouse and black slacks) and I can be guaranteed that a plain tshirt and plain jeans won't look dated (as long as I avoid certain prints, shades, and styles). Personally I love the 40's era business suits and women's outing suits. Unfortunately, most of that clothing is cut for taller, more slender frames and since I'm short (and a weightlifter), vintage stores are out and I just can't pull off the look. Plus where am I going to find size 10-11 white patent leather slingbacks without spending a fortune?
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Post by preraph on Oct 24, 2007 14:31:26 GMT -5
I had trouble finding vintage in my size, too. I was only size 10 for a very short while as an adult. There were times I couldn't fasten the jacket and would just have to wear it open. People were always trying to borrow my clothes, both men and women. I didn't want them to. I mean, I'm the one who worked at getting the wardrobe. Why would I want to loan it to some person too lazy to do their own? My same old "best friend" who slept with my boyfriend also made off with a forties banana yellow suit. When I asked for it, she said she must have taken it to the cleaners and had forgotten which cleaners. Right. Just like she forgot not to sleep with someone I was in love with. Then I had a guy borrow a feather boa and never return it one time. After that, I would only do it for trade. When I guy I liked wanted to borrow one of my velvet jackets, I let him, but only if I could wear his black motorcycle jacket, which was personalized. Now, that was fun. A lot of girls recognized it and were trying to fish for information. Haha. I wouldn't tell them anything. I would tell them I took it from him and left him laying in a ditch.
And I'm a size 11 shoe, so count yourself lucky there. I'm desperate for good loafers right now and can't find any that I can afford and that work.
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Post by eoraptor on Oct 24, 2007 15:57:37 GMT -5
I gave up on women's shoes years ago (excluding dress shoes). Even if it was the right size, the width was too narrow and they pinched all the wrong places. Men's shoes fit much better and I can find classic styles I like.
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Post by lburgguy on Oct 24, 2007 16:33:19 GMT -5
Sheryl Crow says it well in one of her songs: "it's not having what you want it's wanting what you have". I really like that.
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Post by preraph on Oct 24, 2007 17:09:43 GMT -5
I like that too! But I'm one of those people who would be devastated if I lost my possessions. They all mean a lot to me. They're all special to me.
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Post by eoraptor on Oct 24, 2007 18:04:43 GMT -5
You and me both. I've dressed in tshirt and jeans (excluding specific occasions) for as long as I could dress myself (saddened my mother, who wanted a cute little girl in a pink dress). Mostly laziness. Funny thing is, I spent many years studying fashion history and costume design, so I can run with them if I have to, but I'd rather not waste too much time on it.
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Post by preraph on Oct 24, 2007 18:26:43 GMT -5
I think unless you really have a passion for style, why bother. Not everyone should need or want to express themselves through clothes. And if you don't really care and try to do it, it would probably come off on the wrong note somehow, not mesh, you know.
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Post by happy2bchildfree on Oct 24, 2007 21:40:02 GMT -5
Plus where am I going to find size 10-11 white patent leather slingbacks without spending a fortune? Probably at the same store where I will find them in a size 5-1/2. I can't even begin to express how much I hate shopping for shoes.
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Post by preraph on Oct 24, 2007 21:47:04 GMT -5
Me too, sister. They don't even carry my size at any department stores in this big town except Nordstrum, and I can't afford them there! Plus I have the highest arches my foot doc has ever seen and have to put arches in everything, so I can't wear so many types of shoes at all. I like loafers but can't afford the ones that fit me. So I buy stuff off the internet and then it doesn't fit either and I have to send it back or whatever. It's very frustrating.
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Post by happy2bchildfree on Oct 24, 2007 22:08:07 GMT -5
Me too, sister. They don't even carry my size at any department stores in this big town except Nordstrum, and I can't afford them there! Plus I have the highest arches my foot doc has ever seen and have to put arches in everything, so I can't wear so many types of shoes at all. I like loafers but can't afford the ones that fit me. So I buy stuff off the internet and then it doesn't fit either and I have to send it back or whatever. It's very frustrating. Most shoes start at size 6. Sometimes I luck out and the size runs small and I can wear it. Only Nordstrom carries a decent selection in my size. We have a Nordstrom Rack here (their outlet store) and the prices aren't as high as in their regular store. Not only do I have a very small foot, but am difficult to fit because of my foot shape, and there are many styles I cannot wear. I've tried buying online or through catalogs but had too many fit problems and had to send the shoes back, so I gave up trying to buy that way. Needless to say, I am not one of these women with tons of shoes. Then there is contending with insulting store clerks who suggest that I try the kids' shoe department...
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Post by eoraptor on Oct 24, 2007 22:26:17 GMT -5
Oh come on. You mean you don't want Barbie and Superman on your shoes?
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Post by happy2bchildfree on Oct 24, 2007 22:58:09 GMT -5
Oh come on. You mean you don't want Barbie and Superman on your shoes?
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Post by Tabetha on Oct 24, 2007 23:01:10 GMT -5
I'm just starting to save now (am thinking about opening a higher interest FDIC insured savings account like the ones reviewed here), so I'm not sure about early retirement as that was our story for many years. However, the RV lifestyle for us is quite a bit cheaper than living in a home (when we factor in that it allows us to conveniently travel when we need to). Right now we cut down on gas by running ordinary errands in a more fuel efficient car. We have no landlines or separate long distance or local service, only cellphones to keep things simple and less expensive; and use campground or truckstop wifi (when we're in one) as well as free wifi from the library, Staples, etc. No cable, tv, etc. but lots of books and movies from the public library and $.99 rental place. Most utilities so far are covered at no extra charge when you pay your campground fees. Food-wise, it's mostly generic brands or food from discount supermarkets like Aldi and Sav-a-Lot, or non-perishable food bought in bulk when there's a big closeout at the better supermarkets. I'm big on thrift shops for clothes (which we launder twice before wearing) because I like to forrage (there's a $.79-$1.79 per pound clothing/ half price hard goods thrift shop near here in addition to all the normal thrift stores). There's a surprising amount of good condition designer label stuff out there for clothes and handbags if that's what you need. For home (or RV) improvement stuff like replacement sinks, tile, furniture, etc. we tend to hit the Habitat for Humanity Thrift Stores. The rare valuable collectible I find while forraging I sell on ebay for extra money, but we used to do it much more seriously for years. My feet are size 8 narrow (narrows are hard to find) so I get my shoes in normal width from Wal-Mart on sale, as well as Freds, and Payless. All my casual sandals are casual flats and clogs don't matter for width, but boots require me to wear thick socks (I don't wear high heels or sneakers as both look weird on me for some reason). Oh come on. You mean you don't want Barbie and Superman on your shoes? Nothing else about me is child-sized, but I have to get my gloves in the kid section or get those one size fits kids but stretches to adults gloves at the dollar store. The larger ticket things we tend to buy are essential computer stuff (laptops, inverters for power when we're not hooked up to electricity, digital cameras, SD cards), but we make them last and replace them as cheaply as possible (by buying new via deals with rebates we hear about on sites like cheapstingybargains, techbargains, dealsea, etc.), or by buying used but working items from ebay (like my video camera) , our digital cameras (his is a discounted floor model from Wal-Mart, mine is a Target overstock that was woefully underpriced when the firm donated it to the local thrift store), to printers (my local Habitat for Humanity has working all-in-one inkjets for $20 or less as does one local Goodwill which has a large surplus computer parts dept.
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