Deciding on Next Step

[mck]

DH and I made the decision not to have kids together (he does have a daughter from a previous relationship). At my last doctor's appointment we talked about what options we had to make sure we didn't have any kids. I'm 33 and currently on the pill (have been for 15 years). She seemed to be open to anything DH and I felt comfortable with, and just rattled off a bunch of options we had. I asked what recommendations she had and basically said it was my choice.

The struggle I'm having is it would be easy (at least for me!) if DH went and got snipped, but one - he's not all that good with hospitals - almost passes out when he has to give blood :), and two since we aren't having kids I would really like not having to go through this crap once a month! So I guess I'm looking for input from people who took steps for prevention of having kids. I'm worried about what works the best and if either one of us had a procedure - what the side affects would be.

Any input would be much appreciated!

[Karlita]

I had my tubal in May of 2006 and while a tubal ligation does prevent you from having kids, it doesn't stop your periods. I've had more issues with my endometriosis since the tubal, but I think that's just when the pain became more pronounced rather than due to the surgery. Most Dr.'s won't do a hysterectomy unless it's a dire situation, so the only way to both prevent pregnancy AND stop your periods (as far as I know) is to use the Depo Provera shot. That's what I was on before I got my tubal and I used it for 3 years. My body doesn't respond well to most birth control pills/shots/etc., but when I started using birth control from age 13 (to regulate my cycles) up to age 24, I didn't really feel like I had the right to question my Dr.'s method of treatment. Finally I did and was referred from a really over-bearing right wing anti-abortion shrew of a Dr. to someone who actually made me feel like I had total control over my own body. After 6 months, she performed my tubal and I am totally grateful. I just wish she still took my insurance that way she could be the Dr. taking care of my endo. Ultimately, I would talk to your husband about what he is willing to do and what he wants to do. You never know, he may REALLY want to ensure that he can't have any more kids no matter what.

[pyrosgal]

I had a tubal a few years ago. I was 32 and on Depo. My doctor told me that staying on it too long could cause bone loss. So, I called in and made the appointment. I didn't even consider asking my SO to go get snipped. I figure there are no guarantees in relationships, so I'd just as soon protect myself.

Anyway, the surgery was a snap. I was only off work for two days and was restricted from lifting anything too heavy for about two weeks. My boss was only too happy to wait on me for those two weeks because, as he said, "it's much easier than losing you to maternity leave and a kid's whims." (God, I love that guy!)

Not to ramble on and on, but I haven't really noticed that my periods are any worse (never had endo issues). I'd much rather ride the Tampax pony five days a month than take care of a kid!

[happy2bchildfree]

I had the tubal done when I was 33. It was no big deal, just one tiny incision just under my belly button, but it did have to be done under general anesthesia. I was single at the time I had it done, but even if there had been a partner in the picture, I still would have chosen to go through with it. Relationships don't always last and I didn't want to again find myself in the position of worrying about birth control.

I had it done on a Friday and returned to most normal activities the following day. I returned to work at my very physical job on Monday, and to the gym on Tuesday following my post op check.

I had a slight amount of discomfort from the gas they use to blow you up, which lasted a couple of days, but nothing requiring bed rest or painkillers. Since it took a few days for the gas to leave my body completely, my midsection remained a little bit bloated for a few days.

Other than the slight discomfort and bloating from the gas, and the after-effects of the anesthesia, I had no other short-term or long-term side effects. My cycles didn't change in any way until I was in perimenopause, and I went through a normal menopause in my late 40s.

I don't think any reputable doctor would do a hysterectomy for birth control only, but even if they did, I wouldn't have considered that option. From what I've heard, the after effects from a hysterectomy can be much worse than what one would experience from a tubal, and then there is the recovery period of several weeks.

[Karlita]

My mom regrets having her hysterectomy and she really needed to have the procedure. Her recovery wasn't too good, but she did alot of things she shouldn't have - ie. heavy lifting 1 week after surgery. She says she feels really different now, but I keep telling her it was better for her to have it done at 52 when her body was in better condition than ending up in the ER at 62 for something that could have been avoided.

I had a harder time recovering from my tubal than my gallbladder removal. More than likely that's due to the endo and the fact that getting my gallbladder removed made me feel like a million bucks compared to how I felt the month prior. I'm a stomach sleeper so that was the hardest part for me to deal with, but my pain pills helped knock me out for a few hours.

If anyone reading has had endo surgery, I'd love to hear your story. I'm looking into it and would like to hear all the personal experiences I can. Thanks!

[preraph]

I think hormone replacement therapy is key to a successful hysterectomy. I have been on hormones my entire adult life, and I would be in real trouble without them. Until you don't have enough of them, you don't understand how important they are. Hormone therapy can improve a person greatly post-hysterectomy, and they're safer than they once were, and there are kinds that are very safe.

[Nyx]

I didn't go with HRT after I had a hysterectomy didn't wont it and didn't need it ... sailed though without major complications and I'm now two years post hyster and no regrets what so ever for having had it save one ... that I wasn't able to get it dun sooner when I was much younger and had less health issues in general (aka before I became diabetic). The only negative issue I had with it was that two months after the op I became insulin dependent where as before I was diet and work out controlled. Endro thinks hitting menopause as I did triggered something that my body just couldn't handle so as a result my pank shut down totally and hasn't yet restarted.