Going back and forth on getting a vasectomy

[Erin]

Hey everyone, it's been a while since I wrote last. My husband and I know we don't want kids now and we recently started talking about him getting a vasectomy done. He went and saw his dr on the Navy base and he asked if I was ok with it and my husband said yes, and then he said he had to make another apt to go to the Naval air base down in Jacksonville, Fl (that's where the nearest military hospital is.) So they haven't called us yet to schedule an apt and we've for some reason been going back and forth with trying to decide if now is the right time to have it done or not. For some reason we both have some reservations about it. My husband thinks it's because it's just the fact that it's so permanant. I agree. For whenever we do have it done he just has to sign some papers and attend a meeting or something before he would have it done. The good news is that it looks like we won't be fighting with drs on why we want it done (we have many reasons.)

I can't see us ever having kids but for some reason I always wonder. But with the kind of person I am and my medical issues I just can't see me handling me being a mom. My husband is in the middle. I think he's fine either way, but he knows he's happy that we don't have kids and have freedom to do whatever we want whenever we want and we don't see that changing. I guess what I'm asking is if anyone else has been in our shoes- second guessing permanant sterilization or not. If I'm having reservations about it I'm thinking I should just stay on the pill still (I've been on it since age 19 and I'm now 29 almost 30.) With my husband being in the Navy and having to leave for sea every 4-5 months that's another reason I don't want kids- I don't want to feel like a single mom and I don't want to have to deal with the responsibility that goes along with taking care of a child. Thanks for your input.

[happy2bchildfree]

I kind of went through the same thing myself, and to this day I'm not sure why. Even though I was sure in my early 20s that I never wanted kids, I didn't feel completely comfortable getting a tubal until my early 30s. When I finally did have the tubal at age 33, I was 100% sure that I was doing the right thing. At that point I had no reservations at all.

I think most people will still wonder about "the road not taken" even if they are sure they don't want to take that road. Perhaps that is what you are feeling?

The only advice I would have for anyone who has any reservation at all about it is to hold off until you are 100% sure.

I wish you the best, whatever you decide.

[Erin]

Thanks. I agree with a lot of what you said. I've been thinking that if we're not 100% sure we should wait. I've been on the pill this long, what's another however many years. I guess my only thing is I still have this fear of getting pregnant even while on the pill becuase I've heard of it happening to other people. But my thoughts on that are they probably wern't taking it right or missed pills (which I did recently after not having done that ever in the 10 years I've been on it.) Missing the pills scared the crap out of me and now I'm back on track with taking them at the same time every day like I always have done.

I guess my ambivelance about the vasectomy also comes from multiple people we know of are having kids (especially my one good friend who was the last childfree person I knew) is pregnant. They were going to wait but then she discovered she had an unplanned pregnancy. I'm relieved I'm not in her shoes right now but I feel for her. I wish I had some friends I could talk to in person about being childfree. I love talking to everyone on here but it would be nice to talk to someone in person too who feels the same way we do.

The thing is, I never used to be worried or anxious about getting pregnant while on the pill. I do have anxiety and OCD so that doesn't help things. My therapist is pro-kid so it's hard to talk to her about the kid thing too. I had a pill scare back in April when I discovered a medication I was taking (lamictal) can interact with hormone birth control pills and cause them to be less effective. That scared the crap out of me as well and I immediately made an apt. with my psychiatrist and he took me off of it. But after having the 2 pill scares I think that's why I'm even more paranoid about something happening. That's why we started talking about my husband having something done. I guess all we can do is keep talking about it and if we're not 100% then we should wait. He'll be getting super busy with work again in another month or so and then he leaves for sea in Oct and gets back in Jan so now isn't the best time for him to do it anyway. We're just having a lot of talks about it. I think I'm going to stay on the pill though and not do another form of birth control. I like my old standby until my husband has a vasectomy done.

[happy2bchildfree]

I never worried about pregnancy because I would have had no issue terminating any pregnancy that might have happened. But that's me. If you wouldn't be OK with doing that, then I strongly suggest using another form of birth control along with the pill, until the time comes when you are ready for a permanent form of birth control.

[cbushin]

I got snipped and I have no regrets. I like the fact that it is permanent. When I went to Kaiser to get my sperm count, the doctor Kaiser assigned to me disapproved of the snip, but he confirmed that I am sterile. I went to a site vasectomy.com to find the doctor. It was $600, not at Kaiser. It was a simple painless procedure.