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Post by sweetnsour on Jul 1, 2007 19:14:00 GMT -5
A friend of mine was omplaining about how she was on a fixed income and barely had enough to pay her bills and do things for her 6 year old son. Then she goes and gets pregnant by this man who she only knew for 4 months. Can someone show me the logic here? What bothers me even more is women who continue to bring children into abusive or other bad relationships. Do they think that having a child (or another child) is going to improve the situation? Talk about having no logic
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Post by sweetnsour on Jul 1, 2007 20:14:29 GMT -5
No, I don't think that these women are thinking about how much more expensive it will be. They think that a biological connection guarantees love, both from the biological father and the child. In fact, I think that they will deny that there will be a price to pay for anothey child in anticipation that they will 'hook" the biological father. I think that Dr. Laura put it best: why would one dive into an empty swimming pool in anticpation that the pool will be full some day?
I am really trying to be optimistic on this one. However, I can already hear the whining and complaining about how hard it is to have 2 children. If there are any PNBs (parent non-breeders) I would like to ask you a favor. A PNB is one is who happily accepts his or her responsibility as a parent, respects others' choice to be childfree, doesn't demand that others subsidize his or her choice to procreate and doesn't repeatedly whine about the cost to raise a child. When you hear non-PNBs trying to pressure and make the child free feel guilty, please tell them this:
1. You made a choice. Your choice.
2. The CF don't pressure you to get rid of your kids, so don't pressure them to create any.
3. The CF don't complain to you about their financial woes, so don't complain to them about the ones you created.
4. Stop acting as if you corner the market on financial challenges because you have children. 95% of people who reach reproductive age have or will have children so what makes you so unique? Admit that you made the choice to give up certain flexibilities in order to have children. Instead of telling the childfree 'oh, you can spend money on the things that you want because you don't have any kids', get into financial management counseling. To do otherwise is to put the blame on others.
5. Stop introducing yourself as a 'single parent'. By doing so, you provide 2 pieces of information that may not be relevant to the situation. Who ever heard of someone introducing himself as "Hi, I'm a double non-parent"?
6. Don't complain to the CF about the costs of clothes and back to school items. This way CFers won't bore you with how painful it is to pay penalties for being CF when the income tax man comes around each year.
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Post by preraph on Jul 1, 2007 20:15:45 GMT -5
It's unconscionable. And women who stay in abusive relationships "for the good of the children." What a joke. My household was only somewhat abusive, and it was MISERABLE to me as a child to be paralyzed with fear while my parents fought in the other room. I'd go sit in my room or as far away as possible and try to pretend I didn't hear anything, trying to be invisible, wondering how bad it would get, afraid even to walk past them to go outside and escape it. And that was for mostly verbal fighting. It scars you for life if you don't rebel hard against it. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be in a household where physical violence was a regular thing. People who intentionally bring children into that (often to 'save' their marriage) should be taken out and shot.
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