So glad with my decision

[lys]

I realized this today: with the rising prices of gas and food, I am even more happier in my choice not to have children. I cant imagine what families pay for food now a days. And the gas they use to drop them off at their sports or other activities??

[Tabetha]

I definitely know what you mean.

Sadly, many parents today have raised their kids to expect name brand, premium priced, convenience foods and snacks on the table no matter what.

"But Mom, I just gotta have real Fruit Loops, Pop Tarts, Lunchables, and the one-bag-could-feed-Bangladesh sized bag of Doritos or the other kids will laugh at me!"

[preraph]

If I had a kid, I'd make his middle name "Generic" so he'd get used to the idea.

You know, with this polygamist compound going on right here in my state, I was totally pulled towards wanting to harbor one of those poor kids (temporarily!), but who can afford it. My dogs' doctor bills are twice what my own are. Last week, it cost me $167 to cure Loretta's otitis. I had otitis last year, and it cost me $80 for myself. Of course, everything's FREE for kids. Sigh.

[lys]

I was talking with my best friend yesterday and she was telling me that everyone is starting to buy generic foods because they cant afford name brands. I think Im going to start too. a box of cereal is $5.00. I never thought in my lifetime I would see these prices.

[happy2bchildfree]

May 5, 2008 20:03:14 GMT -5 lys said:

I was talking with my best friend yesterday and she was telling me that everyone is starting to buy generic foods because they cant afford name brands. I think Im going to start too. a box of cereal is $5.00. I never thought in my lifetime I would see these prices.

I buy lots of generic foods and other items, too. I've found that most are as good as the name brands. I've been very disappointed in the generic cereals and yogurt, though. I don't buy those.

I was going to buy lamb chops for dinner tonight, but at almost $15/lb, I decided against it.

[preraph]

I've always bought generic everything. I can't tell any real difference, and it's often made by brand companies and just boxed generic. I like generic cereal just fine, but I'm not a big cereal eater. You can save a lot of money on staples like olive oil buying generic, sugar, things like that. Kroger stores have two generic levels, one regular generic and one called Private Selection, which is ONLY superior quality stuff, like port cookies or extra fancy sauces and things like that. I've been ecstatic with everything Private Selection I've bought. It's guaranteed to be top quality. Many times things like cheeses are actually better than, say, a Kraft name brand cheese because it may come from a smaller producer and actually have some artisan qualities.

[Tabetha]

We buy mostly generic (whether at regular supermarkets or at 100% generic markets like Sav-A-Lot or Aldi). Then with the money we save, we can pay a little more to get better quality produce locally. Sometimes $1 and under stores also have good deals on the basic stuff.

Most of the time, we tend to decide what to eat during the week based on what's on sale, rather than on whim (unless he's working on a special recipe). When I see a good sale on paper products I will stock-up significantly because paper products stored properly don't "go bad".

When I see a great sale on fruit I will sometimes break out my dehydrator and dry pounds and pounds of things like berries so we can preserve them year round, use them for homemade trail mix and baking, etc. Some dried veggies can be used and combined to make portable soup mixes and spices. I also grow my own sprouts for soups and salads, which pack a strong nutritional punch, without costing much money or time at all.

[cnu5000]

I was definately more materialistic as a child than I am now. I grew up where some people were wealthier than we were so even though were weren't poor some people did treat me as though I was on the wrong side of the block.

Also I just think children see something and they want it also.

Me and my husband were doing some financial planning and it so much easier to do CF. We don't have to worry about things like life insurance, educating our children. or passing down an estate.

[cnu5000]

In saying passing down an estate it made it sound like we are wealthy-we are not. But in looking at things like cost of nursing home care, I think the problem is that if you go on Medicaid you don't have money to pass to your children. The spuose they more leave alone.

[lys]

WalMart is good, were getting the super Walmart here, and when I went last week they only thing they didnt have in yet was the meats. Other than that, it was HUGE! Two floors! I think Im going to go there from now on, the regular grocery store is nuts.

[limeygirl]

I was talking to my friend who is worried because Christmas is getting closer and she has 3 kids. She says that Christmas is probably going to be "all on plastic" this year. I realise how lucky I am not to have to worry about providing for kids (its hard enough just the two of us). I looked at my budget and shuddered at the thought of having to feed an extra 3 mouths every week, along with things like clothes, school stuff, entertainment, kids clubs, birthdays, pocket money. Vacations must cost 3 times what I spend, along with regular bills like electricity, babysitters, heating, phone bills - I could go on and on. I must be so hard for families, I just wonder how many parents are truly happy. It would send me over the edge!

[writerchk]

Yeah. I couldn't imagine having to take care of a kid. I can barely take care of myself. When hubby and I went grocery shopping the other day and there was this family whose kids kept crying, "But moooommmmm......I want this......." Granted, my hubby can act like that sometimes, but he knows when we can't afford it. I saw their pile up next to ours in the check out. Ours was much smaller.

[cnu5000]

From what I hear from parents that children now are very materialistic and the parents feel guilty and give them things. I hear kids get picked on if they don't have certain things.

What makes me so glad not to have kids is worrying about college tution. Here parents are under pressure to pay for expensive college that cost $40,000-$50,000. Also there are a lots of older parents. I have one friend who is 59 whose daughter is in an expensive college. She is thinking of getting a second job to send her to school. Here the culture is against having the daughter go to a less expensive but less good school. My friend says it is a struggle to plan for retirement and college. Some people I know who had kids in then forties will have the most financial pressure in their sixties when their kids are college age.

[happy2bchildfree]

Nov 12, 2008 7:26:06 GMT -5 cnu5000 said:

I hear kids get picked on if they don't have certain things.

That isn't anything new. It was that way when I was in middle school and high school back in the sixties.

[preraph]

It wasn't like that where I was from, even though the snobbery among girls was excruciating and extreme. Just a difference in generations. No one I know got toys except at birthdays and Christmas growing up. There were girls with more clothes than me, and my mom made my clothes, but I was never picked on for that. I was actually picked on by boys when I got a trail bike at 12 years old. The neighborhood boys HATED me for it. No other girls drove motorcycles that I ever knew of back then.

[cnu5000]

From what I hear and see many children have more toys and things than children my age did when I was growing up.


It is just funny-I was picked on a lot when I was growing up and was very sensitive about it but it is just now that I realize how so many children are picked on.

I was talking to some other people and they were saying how mean teenage girls are to each other.

[happy2bchildfree]

Nov 14, 2008 7:20:44 GMT -5 cnu5000 said:

From what I hear and see many children have more toys and things than children my age did when I was growing up.


It is just funny-I was picked on a lot when I was growing up and was very sensitive about it but it is just now that I realize how so many children are picked on.

I was talking to some other people and they were saying how mean teenage girls are to each other.

Kids do have so much more "stuff" than we had growing up but much of what they have now didn't even exist when we were that age. Still, there was a definite "line" between the "haves" and the "have nots". I imagine it's gotten much worse since then.

I was victimized all through middle and high school so I've always been aware that a lot of bullying goes on between kids but I didn't realize just how much until it started coming out in the media. I blame both the parents and the schools. Parents don't teach their kids empathy, respect and tolerance, and the schools always just turned a blind eye to it and had a "kids will be kids" attitude about it and never attempted to do anything about it. But I think now the schools are finally coming to the realization of how damaging it is and making at least some attempt to control it.

A few years ago I read a book ("Odd Girl Out") about how horrible teenage girls are to each other. It was a difficult read because it was like reliving my middle and high school experiences, but it was very eye-opening and very affirming because all through school I had either been blamed for causing my own victimization or told that I was imagining it and that it wasn't really happening. A TV movie was made from the book but I couldn't bring myself to watch it.

What happened to me was a very major factor in my decision not to have kids. I lived through all that crap once and it scarred me for a lifetime, and I wasn't going to risk having to live through it again through a child I might have.

[preraph]

I was a gregarious kid until junior high, when I wasn't yet developed and not wearing a bra and my mother hadn't let me start shaving my legs. Small things like that can scar you for life at that age. I got picked on a lot and was too naive to know that some of the subtler stuff was cruel, too. Also, I had made cheerleader in 7th grade and then didn't like the snobby and disorganized girls I had to practice with, so I quit it, which is unheard of, I suppose, and that made me something of a pariah among the snobby girl set, and they always picked on me and tried to start stuff. I had to start acting really tough to keep from getting the crap kicked out of me, and I got real good at that.

[happy2bchildfree]

Nov 14, 2008 16:04:16 GMT -5 preraph said:

I was a gregarious kid until junior high, when I wasn't yet developed and not wearing a bra and my mother hadn't let me start shaving my legs. Small things like that can scar you for life at that age.

Yeah, and it erodes one's self-esteem, and low (or nonexistant) self-esteem in itself is the source of a lot of problems. It took me a very long time--well into adulthood--to regain my self-esteem.

[cnu5000]

I grew up in a middle to upper middle class area. Even though most people would consider my childhood comfortable when I was growing up I always felt someone deprived because I was surrounded by people who were richer than me.

I also think in more affluent school systems teachers are afraid to displine the children of parents who have money.