4th in Series: What Were You Doing in Your 40s?

[preraph]

This is the fourth installment in the What Were You Doing When series. I know this is a smaller board demographic, but please tell us what you were doing in your 40s.

For new members, find links to the other What You Were Doing series immediately below this thread title.

[happy2bchildfree]

Except for some serious health issues in my early 40s, and losing my mother in my late 40s, I think my 40s have been the best decade of my life so far. I was happy to finally be remarried after too many unhappy years of being alone. I was happy to have left the crappy job I'd been working for so long. I finally owned my own home for the first time in my life. I was finally able to have pets. I started my reptile business. I finally got treatment for the depression which had plagued me to varying degrees of severity most of my life and continued working on my issues. I located an old friend who I hadn't seen in 29 years--and we picked up our friendship where we left off. My 40s was when I finally got my life together.

On the downside, I returned to school at 40 to become a pharmacy technician but had to quit due to my health issues, and I lost my mother when I was 48.

Overall, it was a mostly good decade.

[kentuckykimmie]

I am only half way through this decade, so the jury is still out. So far it's been a hodgepodge of good and bad. Honestly, even though I have survived two separate, devastating, permanent, painful and life changing injuries, one to my brain and the other to my spine since I turned 40; getting divorced from my ex in 2005 will probably go down in the anals of my life as the BEST year, if for no other reason than to be shed of that SOB.

[cnu5000]

As I get to the end of my forties(I am 48), I feel my forties weren't bad by they were too serious-and people will be suprised that this comes from me who is a serious person.

The "serious" side is that more people I know my age whohave health problems and have parents who have died. Fortunenately, my health has held up but I take my health more seriously. I don't have the energy I used to and I have had to cut back some of the things I used to do some of which I enjoyed. When I was in my twenties I was able to work full-time, go to school at night, belong many clubs, and travel. Now I am lucky that I work full-time.

I feel some positve things in my life(buying property, getting married, and positive job changes) have depleted some of my time do fun things. I feel I get a lot of criticism from people that since I am child-free I should travel more but two job changes have depleted by vacation banks.

I can understand some of the downsizing that people do in mid-life. I get tired of being on the go all the time.

I hope my fifities I can take more vacations and do more for fun.

It is funny sometimes I have written on the board of some mixed feelings of not having children but what I have cried about is having too much to do and do little time and just wanting to have time to putter.

[preraph]

I sympathize, CNU. I really need to load myself up with a second job again, but if I do, I won't even have time for any social life. It's a hard choice to make, NO life or one filled with mounting debt.

[cnu5000]

I just wanted to add-I come from a low fertility group of people. Many of the women I went to school with did not have children and yet we still talk about not having children. I think women in their forties will more notice not having children then men because they will start going through menopause and become more "confirmed" in the childfree state.

Also I come from the smallest-when my parents die that will be the end of my blood relatives. When I was younger I used to feel badly about coming from such a small family but as I get older I have been more sucessful at making stronger friendships so I don't feel lonely. Also as a get older, I feel there is something to the point of view that it is better to have no one than people you don't get along with.

[iluvbooks]

Aug 9, 2008 16:44:19 GMT -5 preraph said:

This is the fourth installment in the What Were You Doing When series. I know this is a smaller board demographic, but please tell us what you were doing in your 40s.

For new members, find links to the other What You Were Doing series immediately below this thread title.

Ask me again when I'm 50. I'm 39, but I turn the big 4-0 this September.

[iluvbooks]

Sept 2, 2008 6:08:13 GMT -5 cnu5000 said:

I just wanted to add-I come from a low fertility group of people. Many of the women I went to school with did not have children and yet we still talk about not having children. I think women in their forties will more notice not having children then men because they will start going through menopause and become more "confirmed" in the childfree state.

Also I come from the smallest-when my parents die that will be the end of my blood relatives. When I was younger I used to feel badly about coming from such a small family but as I get older I have been more sucessful at making stronger friendships so I don't feel lonely. Also as a get older, I feel there is something to the point of view that it is better to have no one than people you don't get along with.

At least you have some child-free company around you. Where I live, most women my age already have kids, so I feel left out. If there are any other women my age without kids, I don't know about them.

[cnu5000]

When I read this board I feel I am fortunate that there are a lot of people without children around me.