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Post by Tabetha on Nov 8, 2007 14:12:51 GMT -5
New to the board or haven't posted much on the board (yet)? Please feel free to introduce yourself here and share a little about your childfree journey. We're a friendly bunch and we don't bite!
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Post by lys on Nov 10, 2007 17:53:21 GMT -5
Hi Everyone,
My name is Lys and I recently realized I'm going to be childfree for the rest of my life. While I do like kids, I just don't want them for myself. I work in a hospital as an ultrasound tech and some of the kids are absolutely annoying. After I explain that the test wont hurt, let them touch the probe before I start and even show them on their parents, they still scream bloody murder. After that ordeal, I say to myself, nope, never having kids. Can't deal with that stuff.
Plus this morning I woke up at 11 AM, after being on call last night and comming home at 4 AM ish. Can I do that with a child? NOPE. Can I be lazy if I wanted to? YEP.
Take care, Lys
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Post by preraph on Nov 10, 2007 18:03:13 GMT -5
Hi Lys. Very glad to have you. It sounds like you've got more kid action than you need already!
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Post by Tabetha on Nov 10, 2007 22:26:05 GMT -5
Welcome to the board, Lys!
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Post by lys on Nov 11, 2007 10:58:33 GMT -5
Thank you Preraph and T Yes, my kid action is fufilled by work, I love comming home to a quiet house and the only noise I hear is my own
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Post by iluvbooks on Nov 16, 2007 1:27:41 GMT -5
I've posted on these boards before, but I'll be happy to introduce myself. My name is Veronica. I'm 38 and have no kids because in a nutshell, I just don't want them. I do have several lovely cats that I adore as if they were kids. I talk baby-talk (or cat-talk) with them.
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Post by brainytheblonde74 on Nov 16, 2007 12:58:30 GMT -5
Hi everyone! I just found this board a few days ago, and am so relieved that there are many others out there like me! My husband and I are "fence-sitters" and are thinking that MAYBE in about 7 years when we are 40, we might adopt a kid. Newborns terrify me, so I don't think I'll ever have a child of my own. We have a dachshund, and he is our baby. He's like a kid (he's needy, he whines, throws temper tantrums, talks back, and resists bed time!), so why do we need a kid? My husband and I joke that we don't need to be parents because we'd be horrible -- we raised a thief and a bully! (our dog likes to steal little things out of my purse like pens, and he tries to bully the neighborhood dogs, even though he's only 18 pounds!) It's hard being the only ones we know who don't have children. Everybody thinks that just because we don't have kids yet, that we want to be around their kids to fulfill some "desire" or "need". We just smile and try to interact with the kids just to be nice, but afterwards, we complain to each other! We just both like our lives now, with the ability to travel, to sleep in, and to afford treats for ourselves. Yeah, we feel "selfish" sometimes, but we feel we've earned the right to enjoy our lives. I'm getting a lot of useful info from the boards. Glad to be here!
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Post by preraph on Nov 16, 2007 15:15:40 GMT -5
Iluvbooks & BtheB, thanks for introducing yourselves. Iluv has been around awhile, and we appreciate her interesting posts very much.
BtheB, newborns scare me too! I'm not being mean when I say that. I just sort of regard them as little live bombs or something, and feel like they will fall out from my grasp if I hold them because they feel like a sack of sand or a water balloon or something, and their heads loll, which is really alarming!
Your dashund sounds cute. Dogs each have their own personality and their little things they will do that is naughty that you can't always train them out of because it may be an instinctual trait. Like my favorite old dog had only one destructive or bad habit, and that was going in circles and pawing the couch before laying down, until it wore the couch out. But that was from instinct, when they had to do that to clear the ground of stones and sticks before laying down, and believe me, that dog wanted so much to please me, but that was the one thing she just couldn't understand. And I loved her way more than the couch, so you know how that is. I'm lucky mine now don't have any really destructive habits, though my small one can jump like a gazelle so I had to make prison fencing even though she's a small dog. And they both dig a little outside, but that's just how dogs are. They bring dead, near dead, long dead and living game into the house. The worst my newest dog Myra ever did was bury a big fat squirrel, which I was very glad of, so I didn't have to, and then waited a week until a boring rainy day and undug it and put it in my bed, right in my spot, too. Wow, she must really like me. And I found a small live snake in the hall last week, which I hated even worse than the bloated and reeking squirrel. All in all, they're still less trouble than children, though unlike most people, I feel really bad if I go travel without them because I know they will think they've been abandoned again. But you know, I need to get over that, because they would. I just hate to see them sad, you know.
Anyway, good to have you on the board!
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Post by lys on Nov 16, 2007 22:36:50 GMT -5
Hello Iluvbooks and BtheB When I had a stress filled day at my job from a screaming child, I keep saying to myself I'm never having children, out of frustration. Then my friend linked me to another site, and I found this one. I never realized the extra benefits until I came here. Now I KNOW I dont want one. If/when I find a guy that thinks the same as me, I'm all set
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Post by lindsey on Nov 20, 2007 1:10:42 GMT -5
Hi, I like to think of myself as a pretty well balanced individual, happy, successful, independant, yet in a long term committed relationship. I've never had strong maternal instincts, but am comfortable around my sisters 3 kids, my goddaughter etc etc. I live halfway around the world from them all, so its not too taxing. However, I am approaching 40, and am surprised to find myself wrestling with the question of whether to have a child. I've been through all the usual pro's and cons, financial and emotional.....freedom v 'that unique bond' etc, etc and I'm still wrestling. I'm still not looking longingly at babies in the street, and my lifestyle would need some serious compromise to even start trying. It's more the selfish question of 'will I regret this if I dont do it now?" I realise it could well just be a typical response to my age....the biological clock finally ticks loud enough to hear....but I'd appreciate any views and advice. Apparently they are not just for Christmas.....
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Post by preraph on Nov 20, 2007 11:31:50 GMT -5
Welcome to the board, Lindsey. I think you'll enjoy hearing everyone's viewpoint and find it settling.
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Post by abbey92 on Dec 3, 2007 14:29:09 GMT -5
I too am fairly new to these boards. I have made a couple of posts in response to others but have really been taking in all that everyone has said. My husband has always known that he did not want children. Me, well, I was pretty sure, but then got to thinking that I didn't know what purpose I would have in my life if I didn't have kids to raise etc. Silly I know. Anyway, my husband (bf at the time) said just that. That that was no reason to have children. I was leary about starting a relationship with him because he was so adamant about not having children and I was defenitely leaning more to the non-children side but wasn't ready to say for sure. Our relationship got more serious and I had to make a decision one way or the other. Well, I chose to remain childFREE and therefore to marry my hubby. We enjoy not having to get up on weekends and in the middle of the night and we very much appreciate the peace and quiet not having kids has afforded us. I should be clear though. I do not hate children at all. My favorite age is from birth to approx age 5. Then, honestly, I don't really know what to do with them. I like the cuddling and coddling part (which is why I have and love dogs). I have a brand new nephew whom I love to death and who will be a large part of our lives. But at the same time, I appreciate that he gets to go home. I get the good times and less if any of the bad times with him. How much better can that get. Look forward to chatting. bye for now.
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Post by preraph on Dec 3, 2007 16:19:41 GMT -5
Glad to have you on board, Abbey. See, you and I are both dog coddlers, but the time I don't like kids is between birth and 5. Then after that, I can like some of them very much (others, not so much, depending on if they were parented well). I think I'm too much of a control freak to like them before you can reason with them (and while they're still sticky and leaking).
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Post by Karlita on Dec 5, 2007 7:17:11 GMT -5
Hello All! I'm Karli and have always known I wanted to be childfree. My husband and mom get it, but the rest of my family is a bit puzzled by the decision. I got my tubes tied in May '06 and love the freedom of it. I'm very happy to have found a forum for like minded people!
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Post by preraph on Dec 5, 2007 11:32:09 GMT -5
Hi Karli, Wow, you're lucky your closest people are supportive. It makes it much easier. When people are surrounded by only those who disagree with them, it makes them feel like a freak. I say it's no one's life but your own,and you should do exactly what you want to do as often as you possibly can!
Welcome to the board! Preraph
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Post by Karlita on Dec 5, 2007 18:09:35 GMT -5
Thanks for the warm welcome! My man and mom are really cool about the issue and content with having animals as their kids/grandkids. I've already got 10 nieces and nephews so if I start getting all maternal, I can borrow one of them and send 'em home when I'm done. ;D
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Post by pyrosgal on Dec 6, 2007 15:09:53 GMT -5
I've been posting here for a couple months. My name is Anita and I live in Washington State.
I've never wanted children. My SO is of the same mindset. My mother is very supportive of my decision and so was my dad when he was alive. I'm really not the mothering type. One of the guys I work with says my "nuturer" is broken. He's kidding, but he's CF also and understands.
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Post by preraph on Dec 6, 2007 16:05:04 GMT -5
Anita, I understand your part of the country is more CF-tolerant than most. Nice to have all that support, especially from family.
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Post by ragdoll on Dec 6, 2007 19:14:51 GMT -5
I am brand new to this message board but I have known since I was maybe 6 or 7 that I never wanted kids. I'm now 45 and I have no regrets. I guess that's what's called an "early articulator."
I remember going to the store with my mother and seeing these young women, prematurely fat and slovenly-looking, with 3, 4, 5 stair-step children in tow. The kids would be whining, the poor mom would be yelling, and sometimes hitting, and everybody looked miserable. I would think: No, not me. That isn't what I want.
Some of it may be that I am an only child and a fatherless daughter, and while my mother was an educated professional with a good job (meaning I was never financially or materially deprived), I had to deal with so much stigma and exclusion that my childhood was bleak indeed, and so I don't have this urge to relive my childhood through procreating, like my SIL. Plus, I don't even like children. Babies gross me out, toddlers drive me nuts and it isn't until they get to be 7-8, fully housebroken and able to have something like a normal conversation that I can even begin to deal. (I am so grateful to JK Rowling, I can always fall back on Harry Potter when talking to my niece.)
My mother never expressed any problem with my being CF. My husband is CF too, and neither of his parents ever said anything against it either, maybe because they had 6 kids and already plenty of grandchildren when we met. But my coworkers don't get it at all. If you don't go gaga over the latest baby pic you're some kind of evil misanthrope. I usually just say I'm not a kid person, or that since I'm CF I can't truly empathize but they seem to be having a good time (ha!)
We have two beautiful cats, a black moggie whom we rescued and a seal bicolor ragdoll my other SIL bred. Those felines are spoiled, let me tell you, but I love every moment of it. ;D
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Post by preraph on Dec 6, 2007 20:09:25 GMT -5
Hi Ragdoll - Welcome to the board. It's nice that you're dealing with your coworkers in a direct manner. It takes more moxy than I usually have, although I will go so far as to say, You'll have to forgive me, I'm more of an animal person. Speaking of which, feel free to post photos of your cats in the pets thread or threads. I think there's one under Miscellaneous.
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